13 April 2012

Sitting on My Ass

I like nothing more in the world than sitting on my ass doing nothing. And it's not my fault I have this attitude, because I happen to have an amazingly comfortable ass. It may not look like much, but if you could sit on this baby for two minutes, you'd realize that getting off this ass would be a crime against nature.
--Lori Chapman

Sweet Jesus, I know what you mean, Lori! I too am blessed with an ass that does not look like much but is amazingly comfortable. Having been a fidgety, hyperactive type most of my life, I did not come to appreciate this blessing until I got old and calmed down a little. And the place where I count that blessing the most is on my patio in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. It is there that I have worked really hard at getting the hang of sitting on my ass.

Morning is best. The sun comes up over the mountain behind me at around 8:00. For most of the morning it is behind a large acacia tree that is in the neighbor's lot directly behind me. The sunlight in which I sit for the first three hours is therefore mottled. But then that morning sun rises above the acacia tree and floods my shoulders. Bathes my shoulders in warmth. I'll tell you! It is the best feeling in the world. My friend Rick can testify to that. A fidgety, hyperactive sort himself, he quickly got the hang of this.

I sit with my coffee and mentally critique the game of those old goofs playing tennis below me on Court One. I do not own a television anymore, but this is far more entertaining than any television sports.

The doves have again constructed one of their rickety nests in the Peruvian Pepper tree--my beloved Peruvian Pepper tree—to my left. I did not even have to get off my ass and hang up a birdhouse.


See that Mexican Fence Post cactus peeking up out of the volunteer perules along the near fence of Court One? Lemaireocereus marginatus. That is actually a bird feeder for all the birds, including the hummingbirds. I do not even have to get off my ass and fill it.

Every once in a while I do get off my ass to make another cup of coffee. I do it with dispatch though. Any second wasted on that effort is a second lost sitting on my ass out on the patio.

Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre.
--Albert Camus

1 comment:

Deb said...

Oh my, I mastered sitting on my ample ass as a youngling. (It wasn't so ample back then.)

Something about people who are unable to sit still always makes me nervous. It gives me the impression they are not comfortable in their own skin and they constantly flitter about as to avoid confronting themselves.

I like nothing better than sitting in silence, catching up on reading, rummaging around in my imagination, letting everything surrounding my little bubble of the world wash around me and through me, or as my mother would say, being lazy.

I'm glad you are getting the hang of it. And, by the way, I like your ass.